The shadow of death.

"Daddy, what is death like?" asked an inquisitive little boy one day. His daddy thought for a minute and replied, "Well son, picture a truck coming towards you, its shadow alongside. Would you rather be hit by the truck or by the truck's shadow?" The little boy didn't have to think long. "The shadow," he said with confidence. "Son, that's what death is like. We were supposed to be hit by the truck, but Jesus pushed us out of way so we would only be hit by the truck's shadow." Jesus was hit full force by the truck for us, to make our death easier. When we die, it's just like a shadow passing over us."

My dad shared this touching story at my grandfather's funeral eight days ago. In that moment, something seemed to finally click in my head. Lately in my life, I've been dealing with a lot of death. The death of a good friend's sister, the deaths of three family members on my dad's side, and hearing of countless other deaths that people have had to experience. So much tragedy. Even the leaves on the trees are dying. It seems suffocating, overwhelming at times.

This story made me think about the bigger picture. Human death seems pretty small compared to the death Jesus chose. He got hit by the truck so all of mankind would only have to experience the shadow. And of course the shadow is foreboding and frightening. And it always will be. But a person who is holding God's hand as he passes through that shadow is the one who can say with confidence, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff they comfort me." Such beauty in death.

This is the season of death. The leaves are dying. They are turning colors, shriveling up, falling off the trees, and are soon going to be covered in blankets of snow. But something amazing happens as they die...they nourish the ground, giving it sustenance and life. The leaves have to die because nature is preparing for a new season...one full of life and beauty and many surprises--the spring. The spring could never come if the leaves didn't die in the fall. And humans couldn't ever experience heaven if they didn't pass through the shadow of death we all have to face.

Those who have left this life are in that new season. That season of beauty and mystery and newness of life. They couldn't possibly be any happier than they are right now. This is the amazing hope we have in Christ. As the seasons pass, keep holding on to that hope of the new season. A season so glorious and beautiful that we won't even begin to understand until we get there ourselves and take it all in.

What will not change.

There's nothing like coming across a quote or poem that has so much meaning for you specifically. So here's one I found the other day, and it pretty much speaks for itself.

Perhaps you, too, have camped by such sweet waters,
And quenched with joy your weary, parched soul's thirst;
To find, as time goes on, your streamlet alters
From what it was at first.

Hearts that have cheered, or soothed, or blest, or strengthened;
Loves that have lavished unreservedly;
Joys, treasured joys--have passed, as time has lengthened,
Into obscurity.

If then, O soul, the brook your heart has cherished
Does fail you now--no more your thirst assuage--
If its once glad refreshing streams have perished,
Let HIM your heart engage.

He will not fail, nor mock, nor disappoint you;
His comfort and care change not with the years;
With oil of joy He surely will anoint you,
And wipe away your tears.

-J. Danson Smith

Rest in peace.

Death is such an odd thing.

It brings so much pain and heartache, yet it also brings hope of something more, something far greater than this present life and circumstance. Death also has a way of bringing peace. The cancer-stricken woman who was battling cancer for twenty years is finally free from pain. The man who has been a vegetable for ten years due to a severe stroke is finally out of that state and free to dance. Beauty from pain.

I've heard it said that every morning, you must have a funeral. Seems like a cynical way to view life, but in all honesty, it's the best way to live. Dead to yourself, your dreams, your desires and alive to whatever God will bring your way through the new day. I pray the same thing as Paul: "I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

Death is a place of rest, a place of quiet, a place of peace. I want Nicole Boucher to be dead. Because it's only when Nicole Boucher is dead that Jesus Christ can truly come alive in my heart. When I am willing to die, I will truly "rest in peace." The amazing peace that only my Savior has to offer.

Today, above all else, I choose to rest in peace.

The beauty of a new day.

The sun rose this morning.

Nothing unusual about the way it slowly rose from below the horizon over the trees and buildings on campus, spreading rays of orange light in every direction. But as it was rising, it brought new meaning to my day. Today is my 19th birthday, the start of another 365-day journey around the sun, as some would put it. As I turned my face to sink in its light and beauty, I was captured. Captured by the beauty. Captured by the newness of the day. Captured by God's love.

There is a freshness that comes with the sunrise. A feeling of strength, potential, and hope. A knowledge that there is so much more out there than just you...but that you can have a part in the beauty of the world. A lightness of heart and a release of worry...everything will be okay. It's a new day. Who knows what each day holds, but I know Who holds each day.

This new year for me brings excitement and challenge. May God give me strength to cross new borders, discover new levels in my relationship with Him, learn to trust Him in a more real way than ever before. That I may shine His character down all the paths I walk, learning to think, speak, and act the way Jesus would.

God, I dedicate this year to you. May the beauty of the sunrise never, ever cease to amaze me.

To be rescued.

You are the source of the life
I can't be left behind
No one else will do
I will take hold of you

I need You Jesus
To come to my rescue
Where else can I go
There's no other name by
Which I am saved
Capture me with grace
I will follow you

This world has nothing for me
I will follow You
This world has nothing for me
I will follow You

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


To be rescued by Almighty God. To be captured by His grace. Clutched in His hand. Given His very breath as He breathes it into You.

To get to the point where you know that you have no where else to go. To know that earth has nothing you desire besides God, as David wrote. To come to the point of complete surrender, where you consider everything nothing in light of God's glory.

Oh how God desires this for us. He wants to rescue us...but we have to be in a position to be rescued. He wants to capture us...but He can't capture us if we are being captured by another. He wants to hold our hand...but He can't hold our hand if our hands are full of our own possessions and dreams and desires. He wants to breathe into us...but He can't if we aren't willing to empty out our lungs to give Him room.

How much more could God do if we just came to a point where we truly understood the need we really have for Jesus. The overwhelming need that can never be fulfilled by anything the world has to offer us. The need to be rescued, captured, and secure in His embrace.

My heart's song.

~You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing to you and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.~ Psalm 30:11-12

This verse caught my eye a few days ago when I was doing my devotions. The phrase that really captured my gaze was "that my heart may sing to you and not be silent." Since I am a singer, the verse seemed to make sense. I will sing to God all the time. That's not a problem for me...I'm pretty much singing all the time anyways. :) However, when I reread the verse I really focused in on the word "heart." The heart is the very core of my being, what motivates me, what pumps blood to my brain to sustain life. And singing is an expression of my love and admiration of the majesty and holiness of God...a state of worship. When I thought of it that way, it had so much more meaning. Having my heart, the core of my being, be in a constant state of singing and worship towards my all-powerful, mountain-moving Creator. And NEVER stopping...never being silent. No matter what comes to rob my joy or steal my song.

Oh God, may my heart always be singing to You.

Home is where the heart is.

Home.

Home.

It's that idea of warmth and acceptance and familiarity for which all of mankind has an indwelling need and intense longing. We all need that place of comfort, a safe haven when the storms of life seem unrelenting. A resting place. Many have a house of wood and stone, but not a true home that offers the comfort, joy, and rest that the materials of a house can only offer with limits. The luxurious leather sofa will eventually wear down, the fire in the fireplace will eventually come down to its last crackle, everything will fade and tear in the end. But home will never stop being...home.

Since I've been away at college, I've often thought about that word "home." As college becomes a place of comfort, acceptance, and familiarity, I begin to wonder about where home is for me. Is home Leominster, Massachusetts or Phoenixville, Pennsylvania? And how many people will I offend by choosing one over the other? I have come to an interesting conclusion about the location of my home...neither MA nor PA. My home is only found in one place...in God. He will always be my shelter and my strong tower when the war rages, and he is the only home I can truly depend on. It's so true that home is where the heart is. And with my heart pumping for Jesus alone, I know that in Him I have the most perfect and beautiful home...a resting place with no comparison, where love overflows and the sun rises every day giving me new life and a fresh start. God is, has always been, and will always be my HOME.